


Saudade

by All_Star_Angel



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Jasper being the worst, M/M, Minor Violence, Missing Scene, That one Gondolia arc, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23146228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_Star_Angel/pseuds/All_Star_Angel
Summary: A retelling of Erik's capture in Gondolia.
Relationships: Camus | Erik/Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	Saudade

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JoJolightningfingers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoJolightningfingers/gifts).



> Well, I snagged Dragon Quest XI while it was on sale and immediately loved Erik... So, of course, I had to write an extended version of that part of the Gondolia arc. Spoilers for the Gondolia arc, but if you finished it, you're fine. 
> 
> To Jojo: Thanks for beta-ing this! And this is for that Kurameshi (and for dragging me into Yu Yu Hakusho in general.) God knows what you did.
> 
> Saudade (Portuguese): “The feeling of longing for an absent something or someone that you love but might never return.”

"Sir! The Darkspawn escaped, but we were able to capture one of his compatriots," one of the guards says, before dropping him to the ground. Erik's not sure why they went through the hassle of tying him up - he's still stunned after the curse Jasper used.

"Ah, if it isn't the thief. Still as loyal to the Darkspawn as ever,” Jasper growls. He’s made one of the festival tents his base of operations, with a map of Gondolia attached to the wall. With all of the exits highlighted, it’s a grim sight. 

"I never thought there was honor among thieves. Yet you defend that Darkspawn as if your life depends on it," Jasper hums, walking towards him. “He and the rest of your miscreant crew haven't escaped, by the way. A shame your little heroics amounted to nothing, just like the rest of your wretched life.” 

He doesn't respond. What is there to say? What matters is El and everyone else _aren’t_ in Jasper’s clutches. Hopefully, they’ll devise a plan to get out of there, the faster the better.

"Nothing to say? There's no point in acting brave - you're going to be dead in less than a day's time," Jasper states, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. "And by the time I'm done with you? You'll be begging for it. Unless... You'd like to make a deal in exchange for your freedom?"

“So you can stab me in the back the first chance you get? _Never,”_ he hisses in response, spitting at Jasper’s feet. He'll have hell to pay for that, he knows, but he wants Jasper to know how much he loathes him. Even if he’s one of many bloodstains on Jasper’s hands, he wants to die fighting until his last breath.

"So, the thief has some fight in him. Very well - I didn’t expect this to be easy. Restrain him.”

The guards hold him up, and Jasper’s hand glows violet. He’s expecting another curse, another blast of agony, but he grabs him by his neck.

Terror fills him - _a truth spell? -_ and his throat burns with a pressure that doesn’t leave when Jasper lets him go. He tries to open his mouth - he can, barely, but he can’t _speak._

"This spell worked on a child, so I figured it would work on you. You’re not going to tell me what I need to hear - and why should I disturb the port with your screams?”

* * *

The guards beating him aren't that bad - he's a thief, he's used to being on the opposite side of their fists - but Jasper is, _through and through_ , a monster. He’s seen shades of it, staring at the ashes of Cobblestone only _hours_ after El had been discovered, as he tries to break him, hair by hair, his calmness masking a zealous madness - he _knows_ that he is a monster, and that this will not end until one of them admits defeat. Or worse.

He’s not sure how many more curses he can survive, but if El survives, then it has to be-

“We’ve seen no sign of the Darkspawn, sir,” a guard states, walking into the tent. “Any progress with the prisoner?”

"He’s more resilient than I was inclined to believe. Heal him, but only his major injuries. Unfortunately, this vermin has some use to us alive," Jasper orders, releasing a curse on him. He falls to the ground - again - because all he can do is _attempt_ to ignore the agony he’s in. And to avoid thinking about what else Jasper can do, and _will_ do.

"We went through the prisoner's belongings as you ordered. There was nothing of worth in them, sir." the guard explains. "Only a few coins, some herbs, and a poison dagger.”

Jasper pauses. "Bring the dagger."

He wonders why. Jasper delighted in breaking his fingers, one by one, and the only way he could hold that dagger would be between his teeth. He’s not even sure he has enough strength to do even _that._

Jasper takes the dagger from the guard and observes it, before looking at him.

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan to kill you with this… Not yet, anyway. You’ve been through an ample amount of pain in the past few hours - are you sure you want to continue?”

He bites his tongue, but he’s already become acquainted with the sticky-metallic taste in his mouth. 

Jasper fake sighs. “Very well.”

The blade _stings_ as Jasper inserts it into his arm, and it isn’t the pain that’s bad, it’s how constantly _searing_ it is. The constant damage that accumulates until he-

“Consider this an… Incentive, for yourself and your Darkspawn friend. This should hasten their movements… Unless he doesn’t value your life the way you do his?”

He knows Jasper is trying to get under his skin, to aggravate him, but -

“To think all of your sufferings might be for naught. You’ll just be another forgotten denizen of Heliopolis, remembered by no friends, no historians, and not even me. You should be thanking me, for letting you die to the hands of something _great.”_

He wishes he could say something, but his throat is still cursed. He can’t cry out, he can’t do anything but _glare._ Jasper isn't great, he's a monster under a king's mantle.

“When I finally corner that Darkspawn, I’ll have to thank him. His worthless followers like you and those inhabitants of Cobblestone make my life so much easier,” Jasper sneers.

* * *

He drifts in and out of consciousness as the guards bind him to the pole in the center of town - tightly, because he doesn't have the strength to stand.

Jasper’s spent the past half-hour sending out guards to scope the town and to scream threats of how El will find his friend in pieces - and as of now, nothing has happened. Maybe El has escaped, and maybe, after Jasper eviscerates him, he’ll be avenged.

He trusts El - he always has - but he wants him to stay _away._ He'd repeat this hellish day for centuries if it meant El would never be harmed by Jasper.

The gods have rarely listened to him, though - so why should they start now?

* * *

The gods do listen, but only with one ear.

He notices El and everyone else sneaking behind Jasper, in a moment when his guards are absent, but he turns at the last moment. 

“You truly believe that you could strike me from behind?” Jasper challenges, unsheathing his sword. “Do you wish to join the ashes of your hometown that badly?”

El bristles at that, but then Jasper attacks, rushing forward with his sword. El parries, managing to shove him back. Veronica sends a wave of flames at him, separating them.

“Back off, you malicious maniac!” she yells. “Let Erik go!”

“You really think your pathetic threats are going to force my hand? That thief is a conspirator, and he will face the justice he deserves just like the rest of you.”

A curse cackles in his hands, but instead of throwing it at El, he throws it at _him._

He didn’t think he could _feel_ more pain, even after Jasper’s guards healed him. But of course, Jasper was always built to defy expectations, in actions and in cruelty. The magic courses through his veins, and he hears Serena gasp-

He sees Jasper’s evil glare. The mark on El’s hand glowing.

Then… Nothing.

* * *

The power emanating from El isn’t something human. It’s something _divine,_ something far greater than Serena could ever comprehend. What she _can_ comprehend, though, is Erik slumping over in his bonds, eerily still.

“Veronica, you have to cover me,” she gasps, watching El rush Jasper. Veronica nods, holding her staff, and she rushes over to the pole to free him.

Her hands tremble as she pulls at the ropes, not from the furious fight going on a few steps away, but Erik unmoving in her hands.

It's difficult, coaxing the life back into Erik that Jasper was hellbent on snuffing out. When her first heal doesn't work, she assumes she's mischanted. 

When her third doesn't work, she realizes what's happened.

“It looks like you were too late, Darkspawn. You couldn’t save your home, and you couldn’t save your pathetic little thief, either. It’s as if you only bring _ruin_ to people,” Jasper hisses, looking at the shock on her face. “I think I’ll strike your healer, next-”

Lightning shoots from El’s palms, sending Jasper careening into a nearby wall. There’s fire in his eyes, a fire that she’s never seen-

“El, Serena, the curtain is calling and it’s time for us to go!” Sylvando calls, and she can see his ship pulling up behind them. 

“Serena, let’s go!” She doesn’t notice that she’s shaking until Veronica grabs her. 

* * *

She has to stay calm - she's learned a spell for this, to capture the fleeting life before it escapes. It's not perfect, but she can try. They didn’t escape Jasper and his monster squid only for her to _fail._

She presses her hands over Erik’s heart, taking a deep breath. "I can save him," she whispers, noticing El trembling next to her. She isn't sure if she's reassuring him or herself.

The first Zing has no effect. But she can't stop now - she’ll do this for a week straight if she can bring him _back._

 _Work,_ she thinks. **_Work._ **

Perhaps her prayers have reached the gods, or slipped through his fingers to his heart. She feels a pulse - a faint one, but a present one.

“El. Help me heal him,” she whispers. “I’ll need some help, but I think we can do it.”

* * *

El holds Erik the way he wishes he held his mother. Gemma. Sandy. Anyone and everyone lost to Jasper's violence. _What's the good of fighting for the future if nothing of the past survives?_

He’s sitting next to Erik belowdecks, staring at the mark on his hand. If only he could control the power within him. If only he were the hero that everyone saw him as. If only he could protect those that _mattered._

He doesn't know how long this journey will be, or how it will end - but he does know no matter what, he wants Erik by his side. There's comfort in being near him, knowing Erik has his back in battle. 

Erik had looked at him and said that everything will be fine. Did he just mean that day? That week, where it was just them? Could he have truly meant _everything?_

* * *

When Erik wakes up, he realizes that it isn't Jasper _or_ a reaper clinging to him, but El. El, silently curled up next to him with dried tears on his face. El, who clings to him like he's the only thing in the world.

He wishes he could shoulder some of El's burden instead of adding to it. El didn't ask to be some chosen one, an amalgamation of blessed and scorned, and yet, and _yet -_

He wasn't angry, he wasn't vengeful. He moved forward, determined to help those who needed it. To fix the world one step at a time.

He rises, and a dull pain echoes in his chest. He won't disturb El - he needs the rest - but he should find Serena.

* * *

He wanders around the deck for a bit, before seeing Veronica, Serena, and Slyvando staring at the sea.

“Did I miss something?” he asks, before wincing. Perhaps he isn’t as healed as he thought he was.

"Ah, Erik! Shouldn't you be resting?" Serena asks, rushing towards him. Her touch sends cool relief flowing through him, and it feels much easier to breathe.

"I couldn't sleep," he admits, standing next to her and staring over the railing.

"Are your wounds still hurting? Do you need anything?" she asks. Quickly, nervous, two tones he doesn't like from the person who usually puts him back together. 

“No. Did something happen?” he asks.

No one meets his eyes - so something _did_ happen. 

"What happened to me?" he asks. 

“Jasper did quite a number on you, darling. We were worried you weren’t going to survive the night… But seeing as you’re standing, it seems you’re not at the in the presence of angels yet.”

Serena isn’t meeting his eyes, and he can see Veronica tightly gripping her hands. He should have been faster. He shouldn’t have put all of them - _especially El -_ in Jasper’s way.

"Why did you all... Come back?" he asks. "You should have escaped. Jasper could have-"

"Erik," Veronica huffs. "I thought we were a team? We stick together, you know!"

"I couldn't let him hurt El again," he responds. "Or anyone else."

"So yourself doesn't count as anyone else?" Veronica questions. "That curse k- could have killed you!"

“But you all could have escaped-”

"And keep you in the clutches of that vicious villain? I think not, darling. El may have duties to save the world... But you're part of his world, just like the rest of us, so don't forget that. His story isn't complete without you, so don't try to get out of it!" Sylvando chides.

"... Thanks," he says. Then: "Why do you care so much?"

"As Veronica said, we're a team, aren't we, honey? A story, like any good circus, is nothing without its acts. I've seen far too many stories end in tragedy... Yours should break the mold, but that won't happen if you don't start saving yourself along with everyone else."

"Huh." He doesn't understand Sylvando - he's not sure anyone does - but he has a point. 

“Yeah!” Serena agrees. “We’re sticking together, no matter what.”

"Thanks, guys," he says. "For everything."

"A performer of my caliber should always aim to please, darling. Now, run along - I'm sure El's growing grey hairs wondering where you've gone.”

* * *

"Hey, sleepyhead," he says, walking into the room below decks.

El sits up in his bed, his eye wide. He doesn't say anything - he doesn't need to.

"I'm tougher than I look, you know," he admits. "Scoot over."

El moves over, and he can see El staring at the scars on his chest.

"They don't hurt. You and Serena did a good job of healing me," he states. "I can't even feel them."

El frowns.

"I swear, El. You're my good luck charm, remember?" he comforts, holding El's hands in his own. "I never would have made it this far without you, you know."

El shakes his head. He can see how _tired_ El is, the bags under his eyes and the bruises under his shirt. He wishes _he_ could heal, to help El and himself.

"Lean on me," he says, and El leans into his arms. He presses a soft kiss to El's cheek, still clenching his hand tightly.

"You're OK, right?" he asks. 

El doesn't respond. _How could he be?_ To stare at the person who obliterated his hometown, and almost killed one of his friends, too.

"We're safe now, El. Relax," he whispers, holding El as tight as he can. _For now,_ if he's being honest.

Jasper won't rest until El's head is on a pike and his own along with it. Until every aspect of El is eradicated, every trace. But as long as he's still breathing, no, as long as he's _living,_ he won't let Jasper win.

He could never leave El. Not for all of Jasper's threats, not for all the gold in the world. No matter what threats they face - Jasper, death, or worse - they'll survive. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see me procrastinating on writing, follow me on Twitter @BakerConsider!!!


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